It's Saturday afternoon. Goobs is upstairs taking his nap. Mommy is sitting in the living room reading a book. Daddy and Bean are at the kitchen table playing with Legos.
Bean: "Daddy, do you know what Daddy?"
Daddy: "What Bean?"
Bean: "When I grow up the only person I want to marry is Mommy."
Daddy: "Well, you can't marry Mommy."
Bean: "Why not, I love her."
Daddy: "Well she's your Mommy. You can't marry your Mommy. And besides, she is already married to me."
Bean: (Thinks for a while, fiddles with some Legos) "Ok, well I can marry someone else but I think that we will still live here with Mommy."
Bean comes running over to Mommy to inform her of his life plan.
Bean: (Somehow Bean has equated 16 with full adulthood and being allowed to do everything he wants to do) "Mommy, I wanted to marry you but since I can't, when I turn 16, I will marry someone else but we will just live here with you."
Mommy: "Um, well, you will always be welcome in our house. Your wife might not be all that into living with your parents though. We are pretty great, but sometimes girls get these crazy notions of wanting their own house and stuff."
Bean: (Thinks a little while longer.) "Well I won't marry her unless she lets us live here. And besides, when I come and get in bed with you at night, she can come too and then she will feel like part of the family."
Mommy: "Hmmm, um, yeah. That might be a little weird Bean. Hopefully, by then you will be sleeping in your own bed at least, even if you do still live here."
Bean: "No, I'm always going to want to sleep with you."
Mommy: "Well, that's ok for now. How about we just worry about that when you are older."
Bean: "OK, but I'm not going to change my mind. When I'm 16 I'm going to watch Star Wars and Transformers and sleep in bed with you. It's going to be great."
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Battle of the Wills
Dinner time. Tuesday night. Goobs
has eaten his usual four bites of food and has begun his after dinner marathon
around the house. Bean is finishing up his peas. Mommy and Daddy have finished
and are waiting for Bean to join his brother so they can have a conversation.
Bean: "Mommy, I'm done."
Mommy: "OK, well, you need to
asked to be excused and clear your plate off."
Bean: "No, I just want to say
'can i get down now'"
Mommy: "No, it is polite to say
"may I please be excused". That is what you say when you want to get
down from the dinner table. You are old enough to use manners. Now, say 'may I
please be excused' and then when I say yes you can clear you plate off."
Bean: "No Mommy. I can't say
that. I'm going to just say 'can I get down now'.
Mommy looks at Daddy and squints.
It's 5:45 pm. Mommy has a headache. She is tired. She isn't sure if she has the fight in her. Then she remembers something she read once, "being a parent is very inconvenient". Quite the understatement. Time for Mommy to muscle up and get the job done.
Mommy: "Bean, you need to ask
to be excused the right way. You can't get down until you do. And no desert
until you clear your plate off."
Bean crosses his arms across his
chest and does a little humph thing. He scowls at Mommy.
Bean: (sort of shouting, no, not sort
of, a full on shout) "I'm not saying that! I can't say that. I'm going to
say 'please can I get down now!'
Mommy: (Realizing that this is an absolutely ridiculous argument she says in an I'm going to
purposely talk very slowly and calmly because if I'm not very intentional here
i will scream at you voice) "You will sit there until you
do as I say."
Bean: "(Still shouting)
"No! I either say 'please can i get down' now or nothing."
Mommy: "I don't take ultimatums
from you. You know what you have to do to get down. You will sit there till you
do."
Much screaming and wailing and shrieking
ensues. Bean cries about how Mommy doesn't love him, how Mommy is being mean,
how Mommy is making him say things he can't. This is coming from the kid who
frequently asks Mommy if something he wants to watch on t.v. is 'age
appropriate'. He can say "may I please be excused". He is choosing
not to and it is making Mommy kind of mad.
Then, all of a sudden like a flash,
Mommy remembers a similar moment with her parents. No horrific details needed,
but let's just say, it becomes painfully clear which of his parents Bean was acting
like at this particular moment. As if he can read Mommy's thoughts, Daddy looks
over at her and grins.
Mommy: (About 10 minutes of
the crying have passed, Mommy hasn't lost her resolve but she is getting really
close to caving. She has to win this. SHE HAS TO WIN THIS! Again in her calm
voice ) "Bean, these are part of the dinner rules. This is part of being a
polite young man. You need to asked to be excuse the right way and clear off
your plate. Then you may have desert."
Bean: (Thinking very hard. He stops
crying and is now just sniffling. He looks at Mommy and squints. Mommy can see
his brain working. She knows perfectly well what is going on in that brain. She
has Mommy powers. She grew this child. She squeezed him out. She knows how his
brain works better than he does. She can see it, she is going to win!)
"May I please be excused Mommy."
Hallelujah!
Mommy:
"Yes. You may be excused. And, would you like some milk with your desert?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Goobs
It has come to Mommy's attention that most of the posts on this blog are about Bean. Since this blog is call "The Adventures of Bean and Goobs" Mommy thinks it is only fair that she give more attention the other main character.
Since Goobs recently turned two and is very full of himself, there will no doubt be more telling of the adventures of Goobs. So, now for an introduction: meet Goobs.
Goobs now climbs onto the kitchen counter to reach the key that is on top of the refrigerator to unlock the cupboard under the sink which contains the switch to the garbage disposal.
Goobs plays in the dog water, sits in the dog water, steps in the dog water, throws remote controls in the dog water and drinks the dog water.
Goobs grabs half gallons of milk off the counter before anyone can stop him and runs as fast as his little legs can carry him while dumping the milk and screaming 'buttermillllllllk'.
Goobs wipes off kisses. If Mommy gives him a kiss, he wipes it off and says 'i wiped your kiss off.'
Goobs does whatever he can to annoy Bean which causes Bean to hit, kick, push or bite Goobs and then Mommy has to put Bean in a time out. Then Goobs stands in front of Bean while he is in his time out and says 'you need a time out Bean. You are being nasty.'
Goobs insists on naked time every morning. When he is finished with naked time, he wants to wear underwear on the outside of his clothes.
Goobs like to put all of his toys that make noise in a circle and then push all the buttons at the same time and stand back and listen to the noise. Mommy is happy that he can entertain himself for 20 minute, but she is slowly being driven mad.
Goobs will run up to Mommy at random times during the day and say "do you want a kiss Mommy? Do you want a hug". He will then squeeze Mommy very hard around the neck while patting her ear and give her a very slobbery and completely delicious kiss square on the lips. It makes Mommy sigh every time.
Oh Goobs.
Since Goobs recently turned two and is very full of himself, there will no doubt be more telling of the adventures of Goobs. So, now for an introduction: meet Goobs.
Goobs now climbs onto the kitchen counter to reach the key that is on top of the refrigerator to unlock the cupboard under the sink which contains the switch to the garbage disposal.
Goobs plays in the dog water, sits in the dog water, steps in the dog water, throws remote controls in the dog water and drinks the dog water.
Goobs grabs half gallons of milk off the counter before anyone can stop him and runs as fast as his little legs can carry him while dumping the milk and screaming 'buttermillllllllk'.
Goobs wipes off kisses. If Mommy gives him a kiss, he wipes it off and says 'i wiped your kiss off.'
Goobs does whatever he can to annoy Bean which causes Bean to hit, kick, push or bite Goobs and then Mommy has to put Bean in a time out. Then Goobs stands in front of Bean while he is in his time out and says 'you need a time out Bean. You are being nasty.'
Goobs insists on naked time every morning. When he is finished with naked time, he wants to wear underwear on the outside of his clothes.
Goobs like to put all of his toys that make noise in a circle and then push all the buttons at the same time and stand back and listen to the noise. Mommy is happy that he can entertain himself for 20 minute, but she is slowly being driven mad.
Goobs will run up to Mommy at random times during the day and say "do you want a kiss Mommy? Do you want a hug". He will then squeeze Mommy very hard around the neck while patting her ear and give her a very slobbery and completely delicious kiss square on the lips. It makes Mommy sigh every time.
Oh Goobs.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Birds and the Bees according to Bean
Bean is a literal child. He was never happy with silly explanations about how things worked. He wanted specific, real, accurate explanations, preferably with charts and illustrations if at all possible. So, when Bean asks a question about how something works or why something is the way it is, Mommy and Daddy have found that the real explanation is usually the best way to go with Bean. He listens intently and then absorbs. Most times he gets it right when he repeats back whatever it is that he now knows to anyone who is willing to listen.
Three weeks ago Bean asked the question Mommy has been dreading since she became a parent.
Bean: "Mommy, do you think you should grow another baby?"
Mommy: "Well, Daddy and I aren't sure we need anymore babies. Babies are a lot of work. And babies are expensive."
Bean: "But Mommy, when you did grow me and Goobs, how did we get in your tummy anyway."
Mommy: "Well, let's see. It's kinda complicated. But, basically, I have a bunch of eggs in my tummy. Daddy put a seed in there and the seed and the egg came together and a baby grew. (Mommy has never liked the "seed" reference and this conversation is starting to give her the willies, but she is trying to explain the whole thing in a way that doesn't give too much information but doesn't give wrong information either.)
Bean listens to this explanation and the goes about his business.
Until yesterday. In the car. On the way home from an errand they were running with Aunt Bethie. Out of the blue Bean perks up.
Bean: " Mommy? How does the seed get in your tummy anyway."
Mommy: (Mommy had pretty much for gotten the previous conversation from three weeks ago.) "What? What are you talking about?"
Bean: "The seed that Daddy puts in your tummy to grow a baby. How does it get there."
There it is. That's the question. At this point Mommy should have referred him to Daddy.
Aunt Bethie starts laughing quietly in the front seat. Mommy sits there a little bewildered, not really sure how to answer this part. She knows that what she says could be something repeated on the school bus for years to come. Oh dear.
Mommy: (Figures honestly is the best policy. She takes a deep breath and prepares herself for what is about to come out of her mouth.) "It comes from Daddy's penis."
Bean: **Silence**
He remains silent for the entire ride home.
Fast forward to bed time. Bean is complaining of a sore throat. Daddy has gone to sit with him while Mommy gets her shower. Mommy walks towards Beans room and meets Daddy in the hallway.
Daddy: "I have no idea what he is talking about. He must be dreaming or something. He is talking about a seed that is used to make babies got into his throat and turned yellow and it grew a virus and that is why he has a scratchy throat. He said it was because he has a penis. What does that mean?"
Mommy: (Coughs and tries to play dumb) "Um, I have no idea where he could have gotten an idea like that."
Next time Bean asks, Mommy is going to tell him to go ask Daddy.
Three weeks ago Bean asked the question Mommy has been dreading since she became a parent.
Bean: "Mommy, do you think you should grow another baby?"
Mommy: "Well, Daddy and I aren't sure we need anymore babies. Babies are a lot of work. And babies are expensive."
Bean: "But Mommy, when you did grow me and Goobs, how did we get in your tummy anyway."
Mommy: "Well, let's see. It's kinda complicated. But, basically, I have a bunch of eggs in my tummy. Daddy put a seed in there and the seed and the egg came together and a baby grew. (Mommy has never liked the "seed" reference and this conversation is starting to give her the willies, but she is trying to explain the whole thing in a way that doesn't give too much information but doesn't give wrong information either.)
Bean listens to this explanation and the goes about his business.
Until yesterday. In the car. On the way home from an errand they were running with Aunt Bethie. Out of the blue Bean perks up.
Bean: " Mommy? How does the seed get in your tummy anyway."
Mommy: (Mommy had pretty much for gotten the previous conversation from three weeks ago.) "What? What are you talking about?"
Bean: "The seed that Daddy puts in your tummy to grow a baby. How does it get there."
There it is. That's the question. At this point Mommy should have referred him to Daddy.
Aunt Bethie starts laughing quietly in the front seat. Mommy sits there a little bewildered, not really sure how to answer this part. She knows that what she says could be something repeated on the school bus for years to come. Oh dear.
Mommy: (Figures honestly is the best policy. She takes a deep breath and prepares herself for what is about to come out of her mouth.) "It comes from Daddy's penis."
Bean: **Silence**
He remains silent for the entire ride home.
Fast forward to bed time. Bean is complaining of a sore throat. Daddy has gone to sit with him while Mommy gets her shower. Mommy walks towards Beans room and meets Daddy in the hallway.
Daddy: "I have no idea what he is talking about. He must be dreaming or something. He is talking about a seed that is used to make babies got into his throat and turned yellow and it grew a virus and that is why he has a scratchy throat. He said it was because he has a penis. What does that mean?"
Mommy: (Coughs and tries to play dumb) "Um, I have no idea where he could have gotten an idea like that."
Next time Bean asks, Mommy is going to tell him to go ask Daddy.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Fuzz Pouch
Ever since Bean was 6 months old, he has been a thumb sucker. At first it all began as a normal thumb sucking thing that just involved his thumb. Around 9 months of age, Bean began to show an affinity for anything fuzzy while he was sucking his thumb. He would hold whatever fuzzy thing he could get his hands on in his fingers, and while sucking his thumb, he would rub the fuzzy thing under his nose. Sometimes it was a corner of his blanket, sometimes a piece of lint. The older he got, the weirder it got. At one point he was stealing clumps of cat or dog hair from the pets whenever they walked by him. Then Mommy knitted a bird for Bean. It was stuffed with polyester fiberfill. Bean picked a hole in the bird and the rest is history. For 2 months (the time it takes to empty a stuffed bird of all it's fill) Mommy would find little fuzz balls all over her house. Bean would pick little bits out and use those to tickle his nose. Mommy didn't replace that bird once it was empty and the habit seemed to stop. That was about 4 months ago.
Recently, Bean found a small hole in the old couch that is in the family room. Slowly and methodically, he has been working his way in and for the last 2 weeks, Mommy has noticed the tell tale sign of this fuzz addiction.
Daddy noticed the hole in the couch getting bigger and the couch cushion getting smaller. He suggested that instead of fighting it, Mommy just make Bean a fuzz pouch and let him at it. Fuzz to his little hearts content.
Mommy: "Alright Bean. Come with me. We are going to make you a fuzz pouch. You can pick out the fabric.
Bean: "But Mommy, it won't be the same kind of fuzz"
Mommy: "Yes it is, It's the stuff you like. Remember your birdie. It's the same fuzz that was in that."
Bean: "You mean you can just get the fuzz? "
Mommy: "Yes, I have a bag of it in the garage. It's for stuffing pillows or anything that needs stuffing. I will use it to make you a fuzz pouch."
Mommy walks out to the garage with Bean and takes a large plastic bag of fiberfill out of a storage tote. Bean's eyes light up. The kid is obviously very happy with this idea.
Mommy and Bean head down to the basement sewing room. Bean picks out some car fabric. Mommy starts us her sewing machine.
Bean: "How will I get the fuzz out Mommy? "
Mommy: "I'm going to make button holes on both sides for you to pick your fuzz out. " Mommy makes the button holes, sews everything together and adds the stuffing. The fuzz pouch is complete.
Mommy: "Here, try it out."
Bean grabs a huge wad of fuzz and sticks his thumb in his mouth. He smiles.
Bean: (Speaking a little muffled, as his thumb is still in his mouth)"Yep, it's good. Perfect. Oh Mommy. I love you so much."
Mommy: (Kinda worried that she is an enabler of some sort and hoping that this isn't some weird habit that she is encouraging) "Yeah? Good. I hope you love it."
Bean: "I do Mommy. But, what will we do when this fuzz is all gone?"
Mommy: "We will just fill it up again from the big bag, and when that is gone I can buy another bag"
Bean: "You mean they just sell those bags of fuzz at a store?"
Mommy: "Yes. They have two aisles of fuzz at the sewing store. All different kinds. All the fuzz you could ever want."
Bean: "How much fuzz do you think is in that big bag?" Pointing to the large plastic bag on mommy's sewing table.
Mommy: (Holds here hands out) "Oh, about this much."
Bean: "But How muuuuuuch?"
Mommy: (Realizing that he wants measurements. Something concrete that he can imagine in his head. Since baking measurements are what he knows she says "About 40 cups."
An enormous smile comes over Beans face.
Bean: "40 cups of fuzz. All for me."
He marches himself upstairs and lays down on his bed. Thumb in mouth, completely strung out on fuzz.
Recently, Bean found a small hole in the old couch that is in the family room. Slowly and methodically, he has been working his way in and for the last 2 weeks, Mommy has noticed the tell tale sign of this fuzz addiction.
Daddy noticed the hole in the couch getting bigger and the couch cushion getting smaller. He suggested that instead of fighting it, Mommy just make Bean a fuzz pouch and let him at it. Fuzz to his little hearts content.
Mommy: "Alright Bean. Come with me. We are going to make you a fuzz pouch. You can pick out the fabric.
Bean: "But Mommy, it won't be the same kind of fuzz"
Mommy: "Yes it is, It's the stuff you like. Remember your birdie. It's the same fuzz that was in that."
Bean: "You mean you can just get the fuzz? "
Mommy: "Yes, I have a bag of it in the garage. It's for stuffing pillows or anything that needs stuffing. I will use it to make you a fuzz pouch."
Mommy walks out to the garage with Bean and takes a large plastic bag of fiberfill out of a storage tote. Bean's eyes light up. The kid is obviously very happy with this idea.
Mommy and Bean head down to the basement sewing room. Bean picks out some car fabric. Mommy starts us her sewing machine.
Bean: "How will I get the fuzz out Mommy? "
Mommy: "I'm going to make button holes on both sides for you to pick your fuzz out. " Mommy makes the button holes, sews everything together and adds the stuffing. The fuzz pouch is complete.
Mommy: "Here, try it out."
Bean grabs a huge wad of fuzz and sticks his thumb in his mouth. He smiles.
Bean: (Speaking a little muffled, as his thumb is still in his mouth)"Yep, it's good. Perfect. Oh Mommy. I love you so much."
Mommy: (Kinda worried that she is an enabler of some sort and hoping that this isn't some weird habit that she is encouraging) "Yeah? Good. I hope you love it."
Bean: "I do Mommy. But, what will we do when this fuzz is all gone?"
Mommy: "We will just fill it up again from the big bag, and when that is gone I can buy another bag"
Bean: "You mean they just sell those bags of fuzz at a store?"
Mommy: "Yes. They have two aisles of fuzz at the sewing store. All different kinds. All the fuzz you could ever want."
Bean: "How much fuzz do you think is in that big bag?" Pointing to the large plastic bag on mommy's sewing table.
Mommy: (Holds here hands out) "Oh, about this much."
Bean: "But How muuuuuuch?"
Mommy: (Realizing that he wants measurements. Something concrete that he can imagine in his head. Since baking measurements are what he knows she says "About 40 cups."
An enormous smile comes over Beans face.
Bean: "40 cups of fuzz. All for me."
He marches himself upstairs and lays down on his bed. Thumb in mouth, completely strung out on fuzz.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Mommy the Con
Mommy, Bean and Goobs are on their way to the pet store. Bean has been in a bad mood all day. A bad mood for Bean means that he starts the day off by screaming at Mommy telling her that she isn't cuddling the right way in bed in the morning, which only makes Mommy remove herself from said bed, which makes Bean scream more. The bad mood also includes Bean going on and on incessently about how nothing is fun, how he never gets to do anything he wants to, how he thinks that maybe he doesn't love Mommy as much as he loves Daddy and how he wants to put Goobs in the garbage can on trash day.
Mommy does her best to ignore Bean when he is in this kind of mood knowing that he usually acts like this when he is worried about something. Daddy has recently gotten a new job with the city and they have to move into the city limits. Mommy suspects that all of this "moving" talk and house hunting has made Bean feel a little nervous.
Bean has been complaingin all moning. Everything that Mommy has asked him to do is met with a "why" and blatant disobdience. Mommy has held it together pretty well all day. It is 4:00. Patience is wearing thin.
Mommy: "Buckle up please."
Bean: (Reaches for the belt attached to the seat in the car, not the belt that is for his child car seat. While doing this he gives Mommy the areyouwatchingme look.) "Why can't I use this seat belt yet. I want to do this one. Not the kids one."
Mommy: "You have to buckle yourself with the child car seat. That is the safeset. Please buckle yourself up so we can go."
Bean: "Why? I don't want to. Why don't you let me do things I want to do? Why do I always have to do things that aren't fun? Why do I have to use this seat? You don't have to. How come I can't sit in the front with you?"
Mommy: (Not feeling so patient anymore) "Please buckle your seat belt. I'm not going to ask you again. Buckle up or I'm taking away your detective badge (favorite toy of the day).
Bean: "But Mommy. I'm asking you a question. Why do I have to sit in this seat? You should answer me when I ask a question."
Mommy: "You want an answer? The answer is because if you don't sit in that seat the police will pull me over and arrest me and put me in jail. I will go to jail. Do you want me to go to jail?
Bean: "Would I be able to visit you?"
Mommy: (Thinks about this long and hard. She is very aware that Bean, being the little worry wart that he is, might be slightly traumatized at the idea of his mother going to jail. Mommy is also very annoyed at this moment) "No, you wouldn't be able to visit me. They have a jail for Mommy's and they don't let the kids come visit. Now buckle up or I will have to go there."
That was three days ago and Bean hasn't asked why he needs to buckle up since.
Mommy does her best to ignore Bean when he is in this kind of mood knowing that he usually acts like this when he is worried about something. Daddy has recently gotten a new job with the city and they have to move into the city limits. Mommy suspects that all of this "moving" talk and house hunting has made Bean feel a little nervous.
Bean has been complaingin all moning. Everything that Mommy has asked him to do is met with a "why" and blatant disobdience. Mommy has held it together pretty well all day. It is 4:00. Patience is wearing thin.
Mommy: "Buckle up please."
Bean: (Reaches for the belt attached to the seat in the car, not the belt that is for his child car seat. While doing this he gives Mommy the areyouwatchingme look.) "Why can't I use this seat belt yet. I want to do this one. Not the kids one."
Mommy: "You have to buckle yourself with the child car seat. That is the safeset. Please buckle yourself up so we can go."
Bean: "Why? I don't want to. Why don't you let me do things I want to do? Why do I always have to do things that aren't fun? Why do I have to use this seat? You don't have to. How come I can't sit in the front with you?"
Mommy: (Not feeling so patient anymore) "Please buckle your seat belt. I'm not going to ask you again. Buckle up or I'm taking away your detective badge (favorite toy of the day).
Bean: "But Mommy. I'm asking you a question. Why do I have to sit in this seat? You should answer me when I ask a question."
Mommy: "You want an answer? The answer is because if you don't sit in that seat the police will pull me over and arrest me and put me in jail. I will go to jail. Do you want me to go to jail?
Bean: "Would I be able to visit you?"
Mommy: (Thinks about this long and hard. She is very aware that Bean, being the little worry wart that he is, might be slightly traumatized at the idea of his mother going to jail. Mommy is also very annoyed at this moment) "No, you wouldn't be able to visit me. They have a jail for Mommy's and they don't let the kids come visit. Now buckle up or I will have to go there."
That was three days ago and Bean hasn't asked why he needs to buckle up since.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Buttons
Bean has really begun to show an interest in getting himself dressed. He will get himself up in the morning, run to his dresser, pick out his own closes and get himself dressed. A small milestone, but it means that Mommy gets to lay in bed for an extra 10 minutes in the morning. That's the good news. The bad news is that Bean insists on buttoning his own buttons.
Bean's dexterity has always been a little lacking and so buttons have always posed a bit of a problem for him. However, since declaring himself old enough to dress himself, he has decided to tackle his button handicap and face his demons.
Mommy and Bean are in the locker room at the YMCA after a swim lesson.
Bean: "Mommy, I'm going to do my pants button by myself."
Mommy: (Feeling like the kind and patient mother that she often envisions herself as) "Great. Go ahead. You are so big now. You can do it. I know you can."
Bean: (Trying with his little fingers to manipulate the button through the button hole. He is no where close to getting it.) "Oh Mommy! It won't go!"
Mommy: (Remembering that her job as a mother is to encourage him and tell him that if he really works at something he will succeed. There is a life lesson here, Mommy knows it.) "You will get it. Just be patient and keep working at it."
Bean: (Starting to get really frustrated. His little fingers just seem incapable of doing it) "Ugh! Mommy! Why can't I do it! Ahh!"
Mommy: (Feeling that maybe this is where she is supposed to step in and guide him. That's right, she is his guide in life. He should know that he can come to her for help. That's the life lesson...maybe.) "Here, can I just help you a little?"
Bean: "No! Mommy I can do it myself. Otherwise I am not a big boy. I want to do it myself. I don't need help. This. Button. Isn't. Cooperating. With. Me!"
Mommy: (Now starting to feel a little bad for the poor guy because he clearly is having a very difficult time and is very frustrated since he has been working on the button for 10 minutes now. Problem solving. That's the life lesson. Let's try problem solving.) "How about if you lie down on the bench and try. Maybe the angle is just bad."
Bean lies down on the bench, starts working on the button then gets himself in such a tizzy about the button that he falls off the bench. He is now in tears and another mother is looking at them with sympathetic eyes.
Bean: "Oh Mommy, I'm never going to get it."
Mommy: (She is thinking to herself that he is right, he is never going to get it and why won't he let her just button the damn button already. Maybe there isn't a life lesson. Maybe it is just a button and it just needs to be buttoned. Now she is wondering why they require developmental psychology in all the liberal art colleges now. If she hadn't taken that class, maybe she wouldn't be so worried about this being a defining moment that Bean remembers. His mother in the YMCA locker room being very frustrated about a button. If this kid ever writes a novel Mommy is sure that this scene will be in it and this will either be a poignant moment about how kind and patient mothers can be or it will be about the mother who never has time to really teach her children anything and how she never seemed to have the patience for them and this character will come to question his entire existence because of the button in the locker room of the YMCA! The pressure is on.) "OK, here's what we are going to do. I will hold the button hole. You hold the button. We will do it together."
Bean: (This child will not be fooled. Crap.) "NO! That would be helping me! I don't need help!"
The other mother looks at Mommy again and smiles. As she is walking out she stops to talk to Mommy.
Locker Room Mother: "See you next week. Hey, at this rate, maybe you will still be here by the time we get back."
Mommy: (Mommy tries really hard not to shoot this woman dagger eyes.) "Ha, yeah, maybe." (Mommy was not amused.)
Bean: (Still struggling with the button, Mommy looks down and he almost has it! He says with a strained voice) "Almost there Mommy."
Mommy: "Don't lose it Bean, you almost have it. Almost. You can do it."
And don't you just know it, he got it. Praise the Lord God Almighty, he got it. All by himself. With no help from Mommy!
Bean: (Completely unphased as if he just did something as simple as blink) "Great, now I can do all the little ones on my shirt,"
There were six of those.
Bean's dexterity has always been a little lacking and so buttons have always posed a bit of a problem for him. However, since declaring himself old enough to dress himself, he has decided to tackle his button handicap and face his demons.
Mommy and Bean are in the locker room at the YMCA after a swim lesson.
Bean: "Mommy, I'm going to do my pants button by myself."
Mommy: (Feeling like the kind and patient mother that she often envisions herself as) "Great. Go ahead. You are so big now. You can do it. I know you can."
Bean: (Trying with his little fingers to manipulate the button through the button hole. He is no where close to getting it.) "Oh Mommy! It won't go!"
Mommy: (Remembering that her job as a mother is to encourage him and tell him that if he really works at something he will succeed. There is a life lesson here, Mommy knows it.) "You will get it. Just be patient and keep working at it."
Bean: (Starting to get really frustrated. His little fingers just seem incapable of doing it) "Ugh! Mommy! Why can't I do it! Ahh!"
Mommy: (Feeling that maybe this is where she is supposed to step in and guide him. That's right, she is his guide in life. He should know that he can come to her for help. That's the life lesson...maybe.) "Here, can I just help you a little?"
Bean: "No! Mommy I can do it myself. Otherwise I am not a big boy. I want to do it myself. I don't need help. This. Button. Isn't. Cooperating. With. Me!"
Mommy: (Now starting to feel a little bad for the poor guy because he clearly is having a very difficult time and is very frustrated since he has been working on the button for 10 minutes now. Problem solving. That's the life lesson. Let's try problem solving.) "How about if you lie down on the bench and try. Maybe the angle is just bad."
Bean lies down on the bench, starts working on the button then gets himself in such a tizzy about the button that he falls off the bench. He is now in tears and another mother is looking at them with sympathetic eyes.
Bean: "Oh Mommy, I'm never going to get it."
Mommy: (She is thinking to herself that he is right, he is never going to get it and why won't he let her just button the damn button already. Maybe there isn't a life lesson. Maybe it is just a button and it just needs to be buttoned. Now she is wondering why they require developmental psychology in all the liberal art colleges now. If she hadn't taken that class, maybe she wouldn't be so worried about this being a defining moment that Bean remembers. His mother in the YMCA locker room being very frustrated about a button. If this kid ever writes a novel Mommy is sure that this scene will be in it and this will either be a poignant moment about how kind and patient mothers can be or it will be about the mother who never has time to really teach her children anything and how she never seemed to have the patience for them and this character will come to question his entire existence because of the button in the locker room of the YMCA! The pressure is on.) "OK, here's what we are going to do. I will hold the button hole. You hold the button. We will do it together."
Bean: (This child will not be fooled. Crap.) "NO! That would be helping me! I don't need help!"
The other mother looks at Mommy again and smiles. As she is walking out she stops to talk to Mommy.
Locker Room Mother: "See you next week. Hey, at this rate, maybe you will still be here by the time we get back."
Mommy: (Mommy tries really hard not to shoot this woman dagger eyes.) "Ha, yeah, maybe." (Mommy was not amused.)
Bean: (Still struggling with the button, Mommy looks down and he almost has it! He says with a strained voice) "Almost there Mommy."
Mommy: "Don't lose it Bean, you almost have it. Almost. You can do it."
And don't you just know it, he got it. Praise the Lord God Almighty, he got it. All by himself. With no help from Mommy!
Bean: (Completely unphased as if he just did something as simple as blink) "Great, now I can do all the little ones on my shirt,"
There were six of those.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Fleas?
Friday night. Mommy is on the phone with Mommom.
Mommom: "I forgot to tell you. The other day when I was over there I think I saw some fleas. I thought maybe you might want to check Ernie. "
Mommy: "Fleas? Really? That's weird. Ernie never usually gets them. He is hardly outside."
Mommy's mind starts to run away with her. Ernie has been very itchy lately. They thought it was just the seasonal allergies he usually get every spring, but now that she thinks about it, it has gone on for a while. Mommy's head feels itchy so she itches it. Great. Even though Ernie isn't allowed on the furniture or the beds, Mommy is usually too distracted with the rugrats to keep an eye on Ernie let alone reprimand him if he quietly goes and lays down somewhere he isn't supposed to. That means if he does have fleas they are on all the beds and couches. Mommy's itches her arm.
Mommy: "Kay, thanks. I better go."
Mommy itches her leg then calls up to Daddy. He comes down to the basement.
Mommy: "So, that was my Mom and she said that she saw some fleas the other day. Can you check Ernie."
Daddy: "I give him his medicine every month. He shouldn't have fleas." Daddy itches his head, then looks at Mommy a little worried. "I 'll go check."
Mommy sits down in the itchy basement and waits for Daddy to return.
Daddy: "I didn't see any thing on him. Just his rashy parts from the allergies. I just gave him some more Benedryl."
Mommy: "I knew he didn't have fleas. That would have been weird."
Daddy: "Do you think they came from the boys?"
Mommy: "The fleas?"
Daddy: "Well, the bugs. Maybe they weren't fleas. Maybe they were just bugs. Don't kids get bugs?"
Mommy and Daddy just look at each other with a bit of a frightened look on their faces. Then they both give a sort of unconvinced half-laugh, because their kids wouldn't have bugs, would they?
Mommom: "I forgot to tell you. The other day when I was over there I think I saw some fleas. I thought maybe you might want to check Ernie. "
Mommy: "Fleas? Really? That's weird. Ernie never usually gets them. He is hardly outside."
Mommy's mind starts to run away with her. Ernie has been very itchy lately. They thought it was just the seasonal allergies he usually get every spring, but now that she thinks about it, it has gone on for a while. Mommy's head feels itchy so she itches it. Great. Even though Ernie isn't allowed on the furniture or the beds, Mommy is usually too distracted with the rugrats to keep an eye on Ernie let alone reprimand him if he quietly goes and lays down somewhere he isn't supposed to. That means if he does have fleas they are on all the beds and couches. Mommy's itches her arm.
Mommy: "Kay, thanks. I better go."
Mommy itches her leg then calls up to Daddy. He comes down to the basement.
Mommy: "So, that was my Mom and she said that she saw some fleas the other day. Can you check Ernie."
Daddy: "I give him his medicine every month. He shouldn't have fleas." Daddy itches his head, then looks at Mommy a little worried. "I 'll go check."
Mommy sits down in the itchy basement and waits for Daddy to return.
Daddy: "I didn't see any thing on him. Just his rashy parts from the allergies. I just gave him some more Benedryl."
Mommy: "I knew he didn't have fleas. That would have been weird."
Daddy: "Do you think they came from the boys?"
Mommy: "The fleas?"
Daddy: "Well, the bugs. Maybe they weren't fleas. Maybe they were just bugs. Don't kids get bugs?"
Mommy and Daddy just look at each other with a bit of a frightened look on their faces. Then they both give a sort of unconvinced half-laugh, because their kids wouldn't have bugs, would they?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Winner
Well, Mommy's first giveway is offically closed and we have a winner. There were 5 comments, left by 4 different readers. I'm thinking that maybe I need to beef up my readership. I could have sworn there were more than 5 people who read this blog, like family (you know who you are sisters, mother, father, aunts) and friends (I swear I have some).
And the winner is:
Kassia (comment #2).
And, if I may say so, she is one lucky lady because the little bag is super cute.
Enjoy Kassia! Watch for more giveaways because even though I didn't have hundreds of comments (I'll admit it was a fantasy I had), it was fun to connect with people and I loved the comments. They did all make me feel much better and that perhaps I'm not as crappy a mother as I sometimes think I am.
And the winner is:
Kassia (comment #2).
And, if I may say so, she is one lucky lady because the little bag is super cute.
Enjoy Kassia! Watch for more giveaways because even though I didn't have hundreds of comments (I'll admit it was a fantasy I had), it was fun to connect with people and I loved the comments. They did all make me feel much better and that perhaps I'm not as crappy a mother as I sometimes think I am.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Mommy's First Giveaway
Mommy's sister Bethie sent her some Liberty of London fabric for Mommy's birthday. Bethie got it for Mommy during her last excursion to London and made Mommy promise that she would make something for herself with it, and not give it away. So, Mommy made herself a beautiful new little lap quilt.
Bean is sitting on the couch watching a show during a short rest time when Mommy comes in and sits on the couch with Bean so that she can work on the binding of her new lovely, girly, purple quilt.
Bean: "Oh Mommy, that is soooo pretty."
Mommy: "Thanks. It's from the fabric Aunt Bethie sent me."
Bean: "Oh Mommy! Is it for me?"
Mommy: "No, actually it is for me. I finally made myself a quilt. This is just for me."
Bean: "I think you should share it with me Mommy."
Mommy: (Wondering where the whole sharing thing ends and how to let him know that the fact that she shared her uterus with him for 9 months and her breasts with him for a full year means she doesn't really have to share anything with him ever again if she chooses not to.) "Well, no. I'm not going to share it with you. This quilt is just for me. I made it for myself. I already made you your own quilt. It's upstairs. If you would really like another one, we can talk about that. But this is mine. I'm not sharing it with you."
Bean: (Frowning at Mommy like she often does at him) "Mommy, (insert dramatic pause) that's selfish and selfish isn't nice."
Mommy furrows her own brow. She is determined not to cave. This quilt is made out of Liberty of London fabric. $36 a yard. It's hard to come by here in the States. Mommy wasn't about to part with it, even if it was selfish.
Mommy: "Well, I guess I am being selfish. This was a gift to me from Aunt Bethie and I really love it. I want to keep it for myself."
Mommy hears herself say these things and realizes that she does in fact sound pretty selfish and for a moment she actually considers handing the quilt over to Bean. Then she looks around and realizes that she has shared her body, her brain and her entire life with these little rug-rats and that they should be grateful.
Mommy: "Yeah, I'm keeping it. But maybe you can borrow it."
So in order to keep Mommy's selfishness at bay, she is giving away a little zipper bag (like the ones she sells on etsy) made with some of the Liberty of London fabric. It's perfect for your little lips glosses or chap sticks. Just leave a comment reassuring Mommy that she isn't a horrible selfish mother or telling why you are a selfish Mommy and you will be entered into the drawing. Leave comments by 11:50 pm Saturday May 14th and I will draw the winner at random and post who won.
Here's to being selfish!
Bean is sitting on the couch watching a show during a short rest time when Mommy comes in and sits on the couch with Bean so that she can work on the binding of her new lovely, girly, purple quilt.
Bean: "Oh Mommy, that is soooo pretty."
Mommy: "Thanks. It's from the fabric Aunt Bethie sent me."
Bean: "Oh Mommy! Is it for me?"
Mommy: "No, actually it is for me. I finally made myself a quilt. This is just for me."
Bean: "I think you should share it with me Mommy."
Mommy: (Wondering where the whole sharing thing ends and how to let him know that the fact that she shared her uterus with him for 9 months and her breasts with him for a full year means she doesn't really have to share anything with him ever again if she chooses not to.) "Well, no. I'm not going to share it with you. This quilt is just for me. I made it for myself. I already made you your own quilt. It's upstairs. If you would really like another one, we can talk about that. But this is mine. I'm not sharing it with you."
Bean: (Frowning at Mommy like she often does at him) "Mommy, (insert dramatic pause) that's selfish and selfish isn't nice."
Mommy furrows her own brow. She is determined not to cave. This quilt is made out of Liberty of London fabric. $36 a yard. It's hard to come by here in the States. Mommy wasn't about to part with it, even if it was selfish.
Mommy: "Well, I guess I am being selfish. This was a gift to me from Aunt Bethie and I really love it. I want to keep it for myself."
Mommy hears herself say these things and realizes that she does in fact sound pretty selfish and for a moment she actually considers handing the quilt over to Bean. Then she looks around and realizes that she has shared her body, her brain and her entire life with these little rug-rats and that they should be grateful.
Mommy: "Yeah, I'm keeping it. But maybe you can borrow it."
So in order to keep Mommy's selfishness at bay, she is giving away a little zipper bag (like the ones she sells on etsy) made with some of the Liberty of London fabric. It's perfect for your little lips glosses or chap sticks. Just leave a comment reassuring Mommy that she isn't a horrible selfish mother or telling why you are a selfish Mommy and you will be entered into the drawing. Leave comments by 11:50 pm Saturday May 14th and I will draw the winner at random and post who won.
Here's to being selfish!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Detective Bean to the Rescue
Monday evening. Bath time (why does everything seem to happen at bath time?) Daddy is already upstairs with Bean and Goobs. Mommy was taking her 10 minute break in the basement while Daddy changed out of his suit and spent some time getting the boys good and hyper before bedtime. Mommy doesn't have the nerve to complain about it though because she gets to go down to her basement for 10 sweet, delicious, quiet, peaceful minutes and just sit and stare at nothing in particular. She has heard the bath water start, which is her cue to head upstairs and begin the bedtime ritual.
There are many parenting decisions that Mommy second guesses herself on. But, one of the best decisions she ever made as a mother was setting a 7:00 bedtime for her young children. This is her sanity. No matter how bad the day is, no matter how exhausted she feels, no matter how many time she has heard herself say "no" and "please stop that" and "get off the dinning room table" and "keep you hands to yourself" and "please, please for the love of God you two, just be still for a moment" she can know that at 7:00 it all stops and they both pass out and are not heard from again until 6:30 am the following morning.
Mommy makes it upstairs and Daddy is in the bathroom getting the tub filled with bubbles and toys. Bean and Goobs are both standing in Goobs' crib.
Goobs: "Mama, up. Run run run bathroom. Goobs out!"
Mommy lifts Goobs out of the crib, strips him down and watches as he runs buck naked into the bathroom. Meanwhile, Bean is still in Goobs' crib, talking to himself about arresting and catching bad people. He has his detective hat on and his police badge in his pocket, which is where he keeps it when he is being an undercover detective. Mommy works on picking a few things up in Goobs' room. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bean climb out of the crib and go into Mommy's room.
Mommy: "Kay Bean, get in that tub. Time for a bath."
Bean: "In a minute Mommy."
Mommy: "No, not in a minute. Now please."
Bean: "OK Mommy." Mommy should have been suspicious at how little he protested. But she was too tired to register it.
Bath time continues and after everyone is clean they are hoisted out, dried off and jammied. Mommy is on Goobs duty tonight, Daddy gets Bean. Mommy has diapered, dressed and sleep sacked Goobs and he has read his current favorite book "Dance Little Pookie" 4 times. Mommy starts tucking him in and notices that "B" and Friend are missing. "B" is his worn out smell bear that he chews on, sucks on, hugs, squeezes and loves. Friend is the identical bear that Mommy bought to have as a back up which has now become the Friend of B. Both of them need to come to bed with Goobs. That didn't exactly work out as Mommy intended, but never the less, both are necessary for bedtime. Tonight, both are missing.
Mommy: "Daddy, have you seen B and Friend?"
Daddy: "They were both in the crib when I put him in there before I started the water. Where did they go?"
Mommy: "I don't know. They were there when I took Goobs out of the crib and left..."
It occurs to Mommy that they may not have magically disappeared.
Mommy: "Bean, have you seen B and Friend."
Bean: (In his room with Daddy getting ready for bed) "No Mommy. I don't know where they could possibly be."
Mommy: "Are you sure? They were in the crib with you the last time I looked."
Bean: "I don't know where they are Mommy. Maybe Detective Bean knows where they are."
Mommy: "Well do me a favor, ask detective Bean where "B" and Friend are. Goobs wants to go to bed and he can't without them."
Bean hops down from his bed and runs to the doorway of Mommy's room. He spreads his arms out as far as they will go in an attempt to block anyone from entering Mommy's room.
Bean: (With a huge grin on his face) "Detective Bean doesn't know where they could possibly be."
Mommy: (From her doorway, Mommy can see "B" and Friend under her bed) "I think that detective Bean had better find them or regular boy Bean will have to give Goobs his cozy blanket to sleep with tonight.
Bean runs and retrieves the two bears from their hiding place, brushes off the dust bunnies and hands them both to Mommy.
Bean: "Detective Bean saves the day!"
There are many parenting decisions that Mommy second guesses herself on. But, one of the best decisions she ever made as a mother was setting a 7:00 bedtime for her young children. This is her sanity. No matter how bad the day is, no matter how exhausted she feels, no matter how many time she has heard herself say "no" and "please stop that" and "get off the dinning room table" and "keep you hands to yourself" and "please, please for the love of God you two, just be still for a moment" she can know that at 7:00 it all stops and they both pass out and are not heard from again until 6:30 am the following morning.
Mommy makes it upstairs and Daddy is in the bathroom getting the tub filled with bubbles and toys. Bean and Goobs are both standing in Goobs' crib.
Goobs: "Mama, up. Run run run bathroom. Goobs out!"
Mommy lifts Goobs out of the crib, strips him down and watches as he runs buck naked into the bathroom. Meanwhile, Bean is still in Goobs' crib, talking to himself about arresting and catching bad people. He has his detective hat on and his police badge in his pocket, which is where he keeps it when he is being an undercover detective. Mommy works on picking a few things up in Goobs' room. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bean climb out of the crib and go into Mommy's room.
Mommy: "Kay Bean, get in that tub. Time for a bath."
Bean: "In a minute Mommy."
Mommy: "No, not in a minute. Now please."
Bean: "OK Mommy." Mommy should have been suspicious at how little he protested. But she was too tired to register it.
Bath time continues and after everyone is clean they are hoisted out, dried off and jammied. Mommy is on Goobs duty tonight, Daddy gets Bean. Mommy has diapered, dressed and sleep sacked Goobs and he has read his current favorite book "Dance Little Pookie" 4 times. Mommy starts tucking him in and notices that "B" and Friend are missing. "B" is his worn out smell bear that he chews on, sucks on, hugs, squeezes and loves. Friend is the identical bear that Mommy bought to have as a back up which has now become the Friend of B. Both of them need to come to bed with Goobs. That didn't exactly work out as Mommy intended, but never the less, both are necessary for bedtime. Tonight, both are missing.
Mommy: "Daddy, have you seen B and Friend?"
Daddy: "They were both in the crib when I put him in there before I started the water. Where did they go?"
Mommy: "I don't know. They were there when I took Goobs out of the crib and left..."
It occurs to Mommy that they may not have magically disappeared.
Mommy: "Bean, have you seen B and Friend."
Bean: (In his room with Daddy getting ready for bed) "No Mommy. I don't know where they could possibly be."
Mommy: "Are you sure? They were in the crib with you the last time I looked."
Bean: "I don't know where they are Mommy. Maybe Detective Bean knows where they are."
Mommy: "Well do me a favor, ask detective Bean where "B" and Friend are. Goobs wants to go to bed and he can't without them."
Bean hops down from his bed and runs to the doorway of Mommy's room. He spreads his arms out as far as they will go in an attempt to block anyone from entering Mommy's room.
Bean: (With a huge grin on his face) "Detective Bean doesn't know where they could possibly be."
Mommy: (From her doorway, Mommy can see "B" and Friend under her bed) "I think that detective Bean had better find them or regular boy Bean will have to give Goobs his cozy blanket to sleep with tonight.
Bean runs and retrieves the two bears from their hiding place, brushes off the dust bunnies and hands them both to Mommy.
Bean: "Detective Bean saves the day!"
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Another Top Ten
I've had a few inquires as to why the blog has been so sporadic lately. Here's an update.
Top Ten Reasons Mommy Can't Blog as Often as She Would Like:
10. Sickness - Someone in the house has been sick with something (including the dog) since Thanksgiving. No joke. There have been a total of two weekend all winter (and in upstate NY winter lasts 6 months) that the whole family has been healthy.
9. Exhaustion - See above.
8. New Baby - Not my new baby, but my little sister's. She's a mom now. Which is so very exciting and I am over the moon about it and he is just the most delicious baby ever and I just love him to bits and pieces already even though I haven't met him yet because they are all the way over in Germany and it is killing me that I don't get to smell him. As you can see I am very overcome with emotion about the whole thing which has made me distracted and unable to write.
7. Engagement - My older sister got engaged. It was a big deal. We met the fiance (Pfewf, he is a keeper and we all love him.) There was an engagement party, a full 3 day weekend of making wedding plans and some serious exhaustion. Happy exhaustion, but exhaustion.
6. Broken Computer - See this post for details. New computer has arrived, hence the post you are reading.
5. Goobs - First let me say, I love him. He is my son and I love him very much and have always been very glad that he is in our lives. Having said that...the kid is a maniac! At the end of the day (which is when i used to write) I collapse on the couch and it takes 3 hours to recover. He is only 21 months old but he can rival the activity of a set of 2 year old twins. The kid is a tornado. Loveable, and delicious, and sweet and yummy. But a tornado and my life is complete chaos.
4. Bean - I guess it is only fair to list Bean as a reason as well. But, he is getting older and is actually the easier of the two at this point. I remember being mortified once when I read an article about a mother who confessed to having a favorite child. She admitted that while she loved them all, there were time when one was more enjoyable than the other. I'm not so mortified now. Of course each stage of development has its ups and downs, but 4 is kinda nice. Not that Bean is my favorite of course, because there is nothing, I say, nothing cuter than Goobs's tushy running down the hall at bath time, but the fact that Bean is past the stage of playing with everything in my kitchen drawers and scattering it all over the floor is kinda nice.
3. Ernie - The dog has been getting into the diapers. He used to get the kitchen trash. Now he is interested in wet diapers (thankfully all dirty ones go outside immediately). Anyone seen a wet diaper after it has been ripped apart by a dog? Not pretty. Cleanup involves a lot of vacuuming. And, just when I have had enough and I vow to open the door and let the blasted dog run free and not look for him, Goobs runs and gets a bone from the pantry and gives it to Ernie who ever so gently gets it out of the baby's hand and eats it then give Goobs a big old lick on the face as if to say, "Thanks man, at least someone is looking out for me and now we have a special bond because I have an awful lot of your pee in my belly." Then Goobs lets out a huge squeal and hugs the dog and says, "Ernie, Kiss" and kisses Ernie and then I remember that Goobs's first steps were taken to the stinkin' dog and that the two of them are buddies and I can't get rid of the dog any more than I can get rid of Goobs.
2. Goobs - Did I mention him already? Well, here he is again because he is just that crazy. Good grief I love him. Sad thing is, there is something very endearing about his mischievousness and how he does things just to make Bean mad, like turn off the TV when Bean is watching a show and then run to the other room. Or trying to steal cozy blanket from Bean. It's like there is some primal instinct we younger siblings have to push our older siblings buttons. Onward Goobs. You do your mother proud!
1. Motherhood - It's been busy.
Top Ten Reasons Mommy Can't Blog as Often as She Would Like:
10. Sickness - Someone in the house has been sick with something (including the dog) since Thanksgiving. No joke. There have been a total of two weekend all winter (and in upstate NY winter lasts 6 months) that the whole family has been healthy.
9. Exhaustion - See above.
8. New Baby - Not my new baby, but my little sister's. She's a mom now. Which is so very exciting and I am over the moon about it and he is just the most delicious baby ever and I just love him to bits and pieces already even though I haven't met him yet because they are all the way over in Germany and it is killing me that I don't get to smell him. As you can see I am very overcome with emotion about the whole thing which has made me distracted and unable to write.
7. Engagement - My older sister got engaged. It was a big deal. We met the fiance (Pfewf, he is a keeper and we all love him.) There was an engagement party, a full 3 day weekend of making wedding plans and some serious exhaustion. Happy exhaustion, but exhaustion.
6. Broken Computer - See this post for details. New computer has arrived, hence the post you are reading.
5. Goobs - First let me say, I love him. He is my son and I love him very much and have always been very glad that he is in our lives. Having said that...the kid is a maniac! At the end of the day (which is when i used to write) I collapse on the couch and it takes 3 hours to recover. He is only 21 months old but he can rival the activity of a set of 2 year old twins. The kid is a tornado. Loveable, and delicious, and sweet and yummy. But a tornado and my life is complete chaos.
4. Bean - I guess it is only fair to list Bean as a reason as well. But, he is getting older and is actually the easier of the two at this point. I remember being mortified once when I read an article about a mother who confessed to having a favorite child. She admitted that while she loved them all, there were time when one was more enjoyable than the other. I'm not so mortified now. Of course each stage of development has its ups and downs, but 4 is kinda nice. Not that Bean is my favorite of course, because there is nothing, I say, nothing cuter than Goobs's tushy running down the hall at bath time, but the fact that Bean is past the stage of playing with everything in my kitchen drawers and scattering it all over the floor is kinda nice.
3. Ernie - The dog has been getting into the diapers. He used to get the kitchen trash. Now he is interested in wet diapers (thankfully all dirty ones go outside immediately). Anyone seen a wet diaper after it has been ripped apart by a dog? Not pretty. Cleanup involves a lot of vacuuming. And, just when I have had enough and I vow to open the door and let the blasted dog run free and not look for him, Goobs runs and gets a bone from the pantry and gives it to Ernie who ever so gently gets it out of the baby's hand and eats it then give Goobs a big old lick on the face as if to say, "Thanks man, at least someone is looking out for me and now we have a special bond because I have an awful lot of your pee in my belly." Then Goobs lets out a huge squeal and hugs the dog and says, "Ernie, Kiss" and kisses Ernie and then I remember that Goobs's first steps were taken to the stinkin' dog and that the two of them are buddies and I can't get rid of the dog any more than I can get rid of Goobs.
2. Goobs - Did I mention him already? Well, here he is again because he is just that crazy. Good grief I love him. Sad thing is, there is something very endearing about his mischievousness and how he does things just to make Bean mad, like turn off the TV when Bean is watching a show and then run to the other room. Or trying to steal cozy blanket from Bean. It's like there is some primal instinct we younger siblings have to push our older siblings buttons. Onward Goobs. You do your mother proud!
1. Motherhood - It's been busy.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Mr. Rochester Fassbender
Dear Michael Fassbender:
According to my records you now owe me a whopping $613.75. Below is a breakdown of the debt incurred because of your charm.
4/5/11 - Item: Computer - $550. The cost of replacing the computer that I completely destroyed by dumping an entire large cup of coffee on it while watching the preview to Jane Eyre in anticipation of seeing it on the big screen on Friday of the same week.
4/5/11 - Item: Large Coffee - $4.50: See above.
4/9/11 - Item: Sauce Ingredients - $2.75: Burned while watching this clip 6 times in a row on You Tube.
4/9/11 - Item: High End Teflon Pot - $45.00 - Ruined by burned sauce (see above) after finding this clip of Jane Eyre on You Tube after burning sauce.
4/10/11 - Item: Admission Ticket - $8.00: Price of admission for me to see this movie a second time in three days, adding to the over all obsession. You are not being charged for the first ticket because I made a conscious choice to see this movie and was not yet under your influence.
4/11/11 - Item: Kitchen Cart Drawer Repair - $10.00: Price of repairs to a kitchen drawer that Goobs pulled out and threw on the floor while I was reading passages of Jane Eyre for the third time in three days. Usually when I read this book (4-5 times a year) I am able to read from beginning to end without getting caught up. But, for some reason, this time through I find myself stopping at certain passages wondering how you would say it.
4/11/11 - Item: Diet Coke (2 cans) $1.50 - The cost of replacing two cans of diet coke that Goobs dumped out on the living room floor while watching this interview of you on You Tube.
And, if I start reading romance novels I reserve the right to bill you for my expensive college education and degree in English literature that was to guarantee me a lifetime of good taste in literature which you may have completely ruined by turning me into a simpering twit who has become disgustingly sentimental.
For the personal safety of my children, my sanity and the general state of my home, I must part from you and your lovely Irish brogue.
I'll have my people contact your people about where you can send your payment. Thank you.
Sincerely Yours,
Etc...
According to my records you now owe me a whopping $613.75. Below is a breakdown of the debt incurred because of your charm.
4/5/11 - Item: Computer - $550. The cost of replacing the computer that I completely destroyed by dumping an entire large cup of coffee on it while watching the preview to Jane Eyre in anticipation of seeing it on the big screen on Friday of the same week.
4/5/11 - Item: Large Coffee - $4.50: See above.
4/9/11 - Item: Sauce Ingredients - $2.75: Burned while watching this clip 6 times in a row on You Tube.
4/9/11 - Item: High End Teflon Pot - $45.00 - Ruined by burned sauce (see above) after finding this clip of Jane Eyre on You Tube after burning sauce.
4/10/11 - Item: Admission Ticket - $8.00: Price of admission for me to see this movie a second time in three days, adding to the over all obsession. You are not being charged for the first ticket because I made a conscious choice to see this movie and was not yet under your influence.
4/11/11 - Item: Kitchen Cart Drawer Repair - $10.00: Price of repairs to a kitchen drawer that Goobs pulled out and threw on the floor while I was reading passages of Jane Eyre for the third time in three days. Usually when I read this book (4-5 times a year) I am able to read from beginning to end without getting caught up. But, for some reason, this time through I find myself stopping at certain passages wondering how you would say it.
4/11/11 - Item: Diet Coke (2 cans) $1.50 - The cost of replacing two cans of diet coke that Goobs dumped out on the living room floor while watching this interview of you on You Tube.
And, if I start reading romance novels I reserve the right to bill you for my expensive college education and degree in English literature that was to guarantee me a lifetime of good taste in literature which you may have completely ruined by turning me into a simpering twit who has become disgustingly sentimental.
For the personal safety of my children, my sanity and the general state of my home, I must part from you and your lovely Irish brogue.
I'll have my people contact your people about where you can send your payment. Thank you.
Sincerely Yours,
Etc...
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Poor Ernie
Ernie has a slipped disk. The vet told Daddy that Ernie needs to rest and be as still as possible for the next few weeks. The vet then suggested using Ernie's crate to keep him still. So, yesterday after getting back from the vet, Daddy dutifully got the crate out of the garage and got it all set up for Ernie so he could have a little R&R. Guess how that turned out.
Ernie spent the day under the dining room table. Goobs appears to have gotten some rest though.
Ernie spent the day under the dining room table. Goobs appears to have gotten some rest though.
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